How To Raise A Child – 101

Christmas of 2008, I was an angry kid with too many things to say. The biggest problems in my life were not being able to meet Robert Pattinson and that my education and parents were all that were holding me back from doing just that. So, when my mother admitted to my aunt that day that I would “make a better mother than her”, there was no reaction more appropriate than shock. I hated kids (and still do, to some extent). How could I make a good mother?

Even today, the idea perplexes and scares me. I am not one against the idea of giving all your love to one person. Using that as an excuse would make all my claims of love seem hypocritical. I just wonder how I, or anyone from this generation could raise kids effectively. We are surrounded by mind numbing entertainment sources like The Boohbahs, negativity, increasing levels of corruption and pollution, sedentary lifestyles that aim for more just when you think you’ve got enough. What the fuck is going on? Would I really want to raise a child in such a competitive, rude, unhealthy and ungrateful environment? Added to that, of course, is the guilt of adding some more to the population explosion. Do I really want to go through the physical and emotional trauma just to have a kid who will be bitter about everything anyway?

Yeah, I did not think so.
Till now.

Being a girl (almost a woman. Pfft) makes you want to give birth to little girls and teach them all the things you never learnt. Teach her to sing better than you, talk better than you, dress better than you, love better than you and be fearless, really. That’s the thing. Everyone wants that and for the right reasons. (Mother, if you read this – do not cry)

But, you know what’s cooler?
To raise a good son. 

Apart from the fact that boys are less complicated and I have had enough of girls for the rest of my life, we just don’t have enough good boys. In a world where we blame a man for everything, let me introduce you to The Nice Guy. He is everything the world needs, not wants. He reads, watches movies, has a sense of humour, is approachable, a good friend, loves his family, has no hang-ups about anything. But, you know, above all he is a good person.

How do you build this child? Teach him to love reading. No, really. I am grateful to my mother for making me love stories. It has decided my career path, for one. Teach him to love people. Teach him to love experiences. Teach him to love music.

Teach him to love.  

To be unafraid of it in whatever form it comes. To be unafraid of making mistakes. To be unafraid to admit mistakes. To be unafraid to stand up for himself and for others, if needed. Be unapologetic about his choices.

Isn’t that a wonderful child? Now, you can ask me again. Why a SON?
Let me tell you this. For all the nice boys I have encountered and liked, I have thanked God for the parents who raised them. Someday, someone else will be grateful for mine. The day this kid of mine grows up and someone tells me, “You have raised a lovely son.” and I watch him/her smile, I’ll know I have done my bit.


  1. “Teach him to love”. Park that thought. That’s the most important bit and something that you may want to remember later on in life. Though it is not limited to raising children.

    As for raising children, God knows if anyone actually knows how. At least not as young parents. Most of them probably find kids to be a burden and a responsibility which they feel obliged to take up due to society’s pressures. Now dont’t get me wrong here. They do love their kids but its probably the possesive sort of love. But that love evolves as both the parent and the child grow older. Real love however, kicks in when the parent is retired and the child is an independent adult (probably with his/her own kids). The parent then wants to make amends for all the mistakes committed in raising the child, he feels he has lot to do in the limited time left in his life.

    That’s why probably, in joint families where grandparents and grandchildren live together, we hear of stories where the grandparents are more loving and tolerant towards their grandchildren than they had been to their own children while they were growing up.


    1. ZOMG. Totally tangential thought. But, yeah. I do not know how to/cannot relate to the bit about grandparents. I am hoping this is not a hint about my baby, if any. (MY BABY. CUE DRAMA BUTTON) I also think that parents repeat mistakes that their parents made unknowingly because it is the only way they know how to deal with the situation.
      The point is, every time I think of how awesome it would be to have a good son in a world where men are looked at as masochistic, self-absorbed, double-jointed sellouts or absolutely uncool nerds or inaccessible Greek Gods, I get excited. It’s one of those once-in-a-month hormonal things.


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